Complicated adult dating
“Rule 1: Don’t make her think too hard,” the manual says.“When writing sales copy…the goal is to reduce her ‘cognitive load’ so she’s more likely to reach the end and still have energy to write out a reply.”What does a “low cognitive load” pick-up line look like?“I consider myself to be a marketer, a matchmaker, and a dating expert.” He lists the books he’s read that inform his methods: Malcolm Gladwell’s “Online dating takes effort, and effort equals time,” he continued.“With [dating apps’] explosion in popularity, it means that you have a huge dating pool at your fingertips, but you’re also in direct competition with everyone else in your area.“Never compliment her without a qualification,” he writes.“Let her know what you want in a woman and make her explain why she fits those criteria.”“I’m not a psychologist or self-proclaimed expert in the multiple facets of human psychology,” Valdez told Quartz in a phone call.We are to treat them as dating-assistant gospel.“There’s no question about it,” reads one chapter, “women want to date the alpha male.They are naturally drawn to the ‘leader of the pack.’” Valdez elaborates later in the manual: “The alpha male is the .” But how do you present yourself as an Alpha?
His idea for a digital-dating-assistant service started in 2009, when he was frustrated with the amount of time it took to search for matches online.
“She seems more simple,” my trainer would write in response.
“Let’s try a different approach.” My meaningful questions would disappear from our shared Google Doc, replaced by simpler, condescending small talk.
“I was working 60 to 70 hours a week and simply didn’t have time to keep up with online dating,” he said.
“Before my life had gotten so crazy, I’d managed to develop some material that worked really well on the dating sites I was using.