Asserting myself while dating
But there was a small voice in the back of my head that said, Luckily, that was the voice I decided to listen to. But the more I practiced, the better I got at asserting myself and my wants and needs when it came to relationships.
I met a guy at a bar who happened to be friends with some guys I knew in college.
The popular girls who the boys "liked" back then (whatever the hell that means in fifth grade) were the girls who would run around and play football with them.
When I shared my realization with my parents, they confirmed that, sure, a lot of little boys liked girls who could hang.
I may not have known what to call her, but my fifth-grade self would sit on the swings during recess, in my dress I didn’t want to get dirty with butterfly clips in my hair, and check out the dynamics of the other girls and boys on the playground.
I met a guy on Ok Cupid who said he was into Russian literature and jazz, so I bought a copy of In the back of my head, I always knew that this wasn’t who I was.
I was able to step outside myself and recognize that this performance I was putting on was full Cool Girl — especially once Flynn laid out the concept in her book.
Not off the bat, but the guys I want to be spending time with are those who aren’t too scared to allow something to develop naturally.
I don’t expect you to be my boyfriend tomorrow, but if you’re more interested in putting up arbitrary boundaries before I’ve even decided whether I like you or not than actually getting to know me, then I think it’s best we don’t see one another.